Saudi Shopping Bus

When we first arrived in Saudi Arabia and were getting settled here at KFUPM, we didn't have a car right away. We would catch the evening shopping buses that KFUPM operates to local shopping areas. We were startled to find that there were always TWO buses, one for the women and the other for the men. They were usually battered old school buses. Well, the other evening, after NINE years, we decided to try this again. Nothing had changed, still the two buses, one for the women and the other for the men. The women's bus is a big old repainted-white school bus and the men's bus is a modern mini bus with nice big windows. Our windows are so dark that not only can the public not see in, but we can not see out. Ah, Saudi is always protecting its women, right?
We took the buses to the Mall of Dhahran, which is not far from our campus. Pick-up time here at KFUPM was 7:30 PM and we could 'shop' until 10 PM when the buses would haul us all back home.
My husband and I really didn't have anything pressing to shop for, it was just something to do. We did a lot of people watching as the night time is when the Saudis come out in full force to shop. Entire families come along with their maids. One of the sights we observed was the very young teenage Saudi girl, totally veiled, being escorted around the Mall by her 11 year old brother. Granted, we couldn't see her face, but her shoes were a dead give away as well as her whole demeanor. The brother's age was pretty easy to tell. This was a very traditional set-up. Girls sometimes go under the veil as young as nine years old. She must be accompanied by a male family member when she is out, and the younger brother can easily slip into this slot. So there they were, going in and out of the ladies fashion stores, she walking with a lively step and he, bored out of his mind, having to accompany her, close by her side at all times.
We saw totally veiled women hurrying about with tired maids carrying crying babies trying to keep up. Why these Saudi women come out so late at night to shop with their maids and babies is always a mystery.
We saw several families with 4 or 5 small children. We didn't see groups of Saudi women out alone. Sometimes during the morning or late afternoons we might see Saudi women out together, without their men, but at night the men are very close at hand with their women.
When it was time to leave, my husband and I went outside to board our segregated buses. The driver of the women's bus (a Saudi) was in such a hurry to get going that he slammed into a temporary fence structure next to the parking lot. Crumbled it up pretty good. Then he tore out of the lot and onto the main road amidst the crashing sounds of packages sliding off seats and onto the floor. I have always believed that the Saudi men are assigned to drive the women's buses as punishment. During the trip back to the KFUPM compound the women were constantly retrieving their packages from the floor and aisle as we sped down streets and took corners way too fast.
End result of this stroll down memory lane of KFUPM shopping bus riding was: NEVER AGAIN!!

Clash of Cultures

I have always believed that many of the women I interact with from Western Compounds here in Saudi Arabia do not have a clue about what life is really like here. I refer to them as living on the 'outside' rather than living inside Saudi. This was once again brought to my attention just the other day. I received a phone call from a friend, Abby, who lives on the very American Compound of MD 22. She was calling from our KFUPM Rec. Center. Well, I knew she was coming inside our compound today to register for an Arabic language class that will start up here for the ladies in a few days. I had talked to her a few days ago assuring her that she would have no problem at all getting into our compound as we do not have all the walls, armed guards, concrete and barbed-wire structures and other tight security measures that ALL the Western Compounds have here. She was, indeed, waved right in, when her driver delivered her to register for this class. However, because she was from the 'outside' world, she needed my husband to sponsor her for this class. He had to personally drive over to the Rec. Center and sign a voucher for her. She needed the male 'OK' from an employee of KFUPM to take this class. That was the reason she called me from the Rec. Center the other day, and fortunately my husband was home. We went to the Rec. Center to make sure everything was official. There were two Saudi gentlemen in the Rec. Office talking to Abby when we got there. One was the director of the Rec. Center and the other was head of the Community Affairs Committee. They were both enjoying visiting with Abby because she is very expressive and very outspoken. She was telling them this was all very crazy to have a husband come over like this, and no one had told her she would need a sponsor, and why didn't they just open this class up to everyone because this was a "university." It was really fun to watch these two Saudis 'enjoy' this high spirited woman. Trust me, there aren't many on our compound! Finally, one Saudi asked her where she lived and she said on MD 22. His face lit up and he said, "OH! You live in the outside world!" This was the first time that I was made aware that the Saudis also feel that all those Westerners living in their Western Compounds were not really living in Saudi Arabia, but in the....OUTSIDE WORLD! The US Consulate here has a sign inside their gate as you exit the area heading back out onto the public roads of Dhahran that says: "Be Careful, You Are Now Entering Saudi Arabia". All Western Compounds should have this same sign!

Another instance of culture clashing happened yesterday when my husband and I were getting some coffee at a Starbucks in one of the Malls. The young man behind the counter was absolutely beautiful. He just lit up when we came over to him and broke out in the biggest grin and chatted us up just fine. We were laughing and having such a good time because he was just so full of life. When I asked him what was the coffee of the day, he said, "Kenya! Where I am from!" So we were off and running again about coffee in his country and on to how wonderful our visit was to Kenya a few years ago and, well, it was just a big bright spot in our evening. It is very rare to get such happy and super service like this. This young man said he just loved talking to us because 99% of his customers do not smile or talk to him at all. He loves when the Americans come to Starbucks as we are all so friendly. Unfortunately, he doesn't see that many Americans out and about here because they are getting all their needs met inside their wonderful Western Compounds! Oh yes, my husband and I were the only Americans, as far as we could tell, in the Mall that evening. We had a great time people watching. But that is a subject for my next posting.

Towel Art

We recently spent a week at Sharm El Sheikh in Egypt. The trip was only for relaxing at this very nice resort. The trip was to look at beautiful things like the sea and the wonderful fish and corals. The trip was to move about freely in a very relaxed and beautiful area. What I didn't expect was to see the 'Towel Art' arranged on our bed every day.

Happenings at Applebee's in Saudi Arabia

After the interruption of summer vacation, Christmas in Colorado, and a one week holiday in Egypt, it is nice to be able to sit down and talk about being back in Saudi Arabia.
Things are very quiet around home now that my husband has returned to work and we are back into our somewhat normal life routein.
The other day, because the weather here is at its absolute best, we decided to go into Al Khobar and walk around, get some groceries, and maybe stop for lunch. Always in the front of our minds is timing so we can do it all and still work in a lunch before prayer time closes everything up. This would mean two choices for lunch: 1) A regular restaurant, arriving about 11:15 a.m. and ahead of the closing time by about 15 minutes or so, or 2) Saying “to heck with it” and plan on eating at a hotel or a Western compound restaurant, where they stay open through the prayer times. We decided to go early to a big new Applebee’s that was close to all the shops we were visiting and the grocery store where we picked up a few items. This also enabled us to walk everywhere and avoid driving in the crunch of the downtown city traffic.
Everything went very well and the food was good. The place is huge, probably the biggest Applebee’s in the world. Remember, they have to accommodate areas for Single Men separate from the Family Areas so that the men and women don’t mix from different families.
We paid our bill and headed down the swooping circular staircase from the family area to the side (singles) door where we had previously exited during prayer. We were immediately stopped by a frantic Applebee’s manager saying he could NOT unlock the doors for us to leave as it was prayer time and the Matawas were out front making sure no one went in or out during this prayer time.
We haven’t had this happen to us in a very long time. Usually, places let people OUT during the prayer times, but not IN. The only reason this would be happening where the managers were blocking both the IN and OUT during a prayer time would be that they had been ‘raided’ by the Matawas recently. Indeed, this is what had happened to the Al Khobar Applebee’s. Someone had snitched. Someone had written a letter to the Matawas saying that 1) there were Saudi women eating there with men who were not their husbands, or brother’s or sons! And 2) Applebee’s was letting people OUT during prayer times.
This letter brought the wrath of the Matawas onto our local Applebee’s, so for a while now, everyone will follow the strict rules or people will lose their jobs and Applebee’s could just close down.
We found out all these details from the shift manager as we visited while we waited more than a half hour before we could leave. During this time some Saudi ladies were getting calls on their cell phones upstairs saying that one of their friends could not get inside the restaurant as the doors were locked. Well, down the stairs came a storming, angry Saudi woman telling this manager to open the doors. No way would he do this, he still had about 15 min. left during the prayer time. He was really holding his own in all this. She, on the other hand, was really steaming with anger not only that her friend was not getting let in, but that she and the rest of her party could not get out! We watched it all play out in English, the common language between this Filipino manager and the Saudi woman. Well, after several minutes, she won and her party of 4 stormed out. We waited until we were ‘released’ officially.
This manager also told us that he has witnessed the Matawas coming in and SLAPPING other shift managers! That’s right, physically slapping them. He said he was never slapped, but that it does happen.
The large entryway inside this Applebee’s is 'safe.' All the decorations and pictures are of Arab artifacts. There are no pictures of people. Farther inside, however, are the usual decorations that we see in the States of movie stars. Matawas stormed through on their past raid pointing out the pictures that were to be REMOVED: Marilyn Monroe, along with a couple of other classic female actresses. When we asked this current manager why those pictures were still hanging, this manager just laughed and said, “Waiting for Maintenance to remove them!”

Saudi Women Still Can't Drive Cars, BUT........

I came across this news article and thought it was absolutely brilliant in defining yet again the outer limits of life here in Saudi Arabia. This article may seem a tad long to read, but I really recommend that it be read because it opens up a real, solid window to the inside of this country.
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All-female showroom launches in Saudi Arabia
Women still banned from driving, but they can buy and sell cars
Dec. 9, 2006. 01:00 AM
RIYADH, Saudi Arabia—Saudi women still can't drive cars, but they can now sell them.
Potential buyers can go to an all-women showroom where, for the first time, other women will help them choose a car and answer questions about horsepower, carburetors and other features.
But neither the saleswomen nor the female buyers can take the car out for a test drive because women are still banned from driving in Saudi Arabia — even though they have been allowed to own cars for decades and hire male drivers.
Almost half the autos in the country belong to women.
The kingdom's strict interpretation of Islam has long limited what women can do outside the home, seeking to keep them from coming into contact with men who aren't relatives.
So touchy is the issue of women driving that people who previously called for dialogue about whether Saudi Arabia should remain the only Arab nation that bans female drivers have been largely silenced by a wave of condemnation from conservatives.
Mindful of those sensitivities, the Riyadh car dealership that opened the all-women showroom asked that its name not be used.
The seven saleswomen at the large showroom insist they aren't pushing for female driving, but only providing comfort for women who want to buy cars and don't like to go to dealerships run by men.
With the sexes segregated in schools, restaurants and banks, interaction between salesmen and female customers is awkward for many Saudis.
"I don't support women driving even if a permission is given for them to do so, because the society is not prepared for such a step," said Widad Merdad, one of the saleswomen at the dealership, which is privately owned and offers a range of cars.
While the introduction of saleswomen into the workforce may seem a gain for Saudi women, some say that for every step forward, women suffer other setbacks.
Saudi writer Maram Mekkawi cited a recent incident in which female doctors attending a conference in the same room as men — a rare event in the kingdom — were asked to leave because one speaker refused to address a mixed group. The women left, sparking outrage among other women. (Saudi Sandy here: The original quote from this speaker indicated he would not speak in a room that was "Polluted" with the women in it.)
In a column in the Al-Watan newspaper, Mekkawi said the female doctors wouldn't have been kicked out had Saudi society not programmed them to accept such humiliation.
"I'm sorry to say that I have found, in the Western world, men and women with much more manly stands than ours here, where we claim a monopoly on values and principles," Mekkawi wrote. "Would I be blamed if I felt like a third-class or even 10th-class citizen?"
Some wonder if the new all-female showroom will meet the fate of a similar business forced to close shortly after it opened in Jiddah a few years ago.
One woman, who asked to remain anonymous, suggested anything that brings women closer to cars is seen as a threat by conservatives, who think female driving will open the way for women's emancipation.
It's not only men who oppose women driving, however. In a letter to the opinion page of Al-Watan, Ruqiya al-Duwaighry wrote that driving "strips women of their femininity" and puts them in situations that might violate the ban on the sexes mixing.
"(Driving) may subject her to give up the veil or mix with strange men, such as workers at gas stations or security men at checkpoints," she wrote. "Women, by nature, cannot cope with such hard work."
Others say women should at least learn how to drive so they can cope in emergencies, especially in households that cannot afford drivers.
The Saudi Gazette recently told the story of a woman who disguised herself as a man to drive her elderly father to an emergency room as he was having a heart attack.
At the showroom, where half a dozen cars sit on gleaming marble floors shielded from the view of people outside by blackened windows, Merdad said the employees get several weeks of training — but not in how to drive.
The showroom is attached to a dealership run by men with more than 100 cars on display. A female shopper can watch a live feed of that showroom on a flat-screen TV in a comfortable seating area. If she sees a car she likes, it is brought into the female showroom.
"It's better than seeing the car in a catalogue," said Maha Mohsen, a marketing representative.
Associated Press

Greetings from Saudisandy

I learned something about our medical clinic on our compound. Two weeks ago we had been to the dermatologist and he told us to return and be rechecked after two weeks. Usually the procedure is to take a number and then check in at the front desk. At this point the men at the computers type our file numbers and open the access for the individual doctors on their office computers. This particular dermatologist said that on our return visit we did not have to check in at the front desk, just to keep our old slips (little slips are issued at the front desk for each visit and then handed to the receptionist at the various areas in the clinic), and just tell the receptionist it was OK. We did all this, got in to see the doctor, who didn't remember us at all. He then said we should have checked in at the front desk. He insisted that he never told us to by-pass the front desk. Good thing my husband and I always go together to the doctors as we can bear witness to all that is said to us. Then the doctor had to call the front desk and they in turn were the ones that had to push the right buttons that would activate the computer in his office to our files. What a shock to us to find that all the doctors at our clinic are controlled to such a degree that they can not get to a patient's file on their own computers in their own offices unless the front desk activates their computer. Once he saw our files on the screen, the memory of us came back to him, of course, and he apologized for everything. No matter what, we will now always check in at the front desk.

This morning I went to the monthly meeting of AWEP (American Women of the Eastern Province) held at a local hotel and was treated to a wonderful cultural event. Five women form South American, representing Columbia, Venezuela, and Bolivia, and dressed in their traditional dress, gave an interesting presentation of their areas in South America. They had power point and in beautiful Spanish accents they introduced us to their native homes. Unfortunately, I did not bring my camera. Shortly after I arrived, one of the women from Colombia recognized me and came right up and we chatted for a bit. She also attends the 'Fellowship' group I go to once a week. We were talking about traditional foods and she wanted to know if I would try her favorite traditional food from her country that she always brings back to Saudi. I am adventuresome in this area, so she led me to a beautifully decorated table they had set up to show some of their traditional pieces and offered me the treat from a plate. "Try and guess what these are?" She gleefully said. They looked like tiny black berries of some kind or Columbian coffee beans. I popped a couple in my mouth. Had a bit of a nutty taste and quite crunchy....ANTS! My first ever. How clever of her to get me to try this as I would never have tried them if I knew what I was eating. I kept smiling and continued to discuss their taste as one would discuss a good wine. Then, the first chance, I made my way to a plate of cookies and downed a couple. Felt a tad queasy at just the thought of what I had eaten.

These South American ladies all live on ARAMCO and what they did was to give the hotel recipes from their country and we were then served a wonderful lunch of their favorite foods. The whole morning was just a huge treat in so many ways.

You know, I can still see and taste those ANTS, however.

Greetings From Saudisandy

There has been a huge amount of digging on the road in front of our apartment here on our compound. At first we thought it was to be just a resurfacing. Our mistake, or were we just misled? We are getting a new road. Not a little project, as the machines have dug out the existing road down over two feet and the whole area is terribly dangerous to walk on and we have to walk on it to get to our car that has now to be parked about a block away. Outside of stepping into muck over my ankles as I headed out to have a social day, and one day my husband tripping and falling while arms were full of groceries, we are surviving. He wasn't hurt and the concrete-type muck came off my feet and shoes after hard scrubbing.

However, I do think a bug from Hell was unearthed in this process. Seriously! I came out my front door the other day and saw this ghastly black thing, half hornet and half locus flying and hopping about in a nasty frenzy. He would bounce and fly about a foot off the ground and then when he hit the ground he would rub his ugly head around on the concrete. It was really sickening to watch. This is how he maneuvered down our walkway: bounce, fly, grind head in concrete, bounce, fly, grind head into concrete. He was the size of my index finger. I saw him once and never again. Thank God, it was one bug and not a fleet.

We are finding the new mosque, just about one half a block away, to be very disturbing. The sound on their speakers has been turned to full volume and the first call to prayer at 4:30 or so every morning is wrecking the nerves of many in the surrounding neighborhood. With our doors shut and air-conditioning on full, we hear it as if it were on our back patio. A friend who lives even closer than we do, paced off one day from her apartment: 50 steps, the next nearest mosque is 70 steps and the last and biggest mosque in our compound is 100 steps from her doorway. Her husband has put in a request to be moved. He is suffering from sleep deprivation. So far, my husband is sleeping through this first prayer call of the day, but I am not. Better me than him. Another mosque is half completed about four blocks from us. Our compound has five mosques that I know of, and a sixth is being built.

Happy Halloween

I ran into my friend at the compound grocery store yesterday and she was buying huge amounts of candy for the little kids and their big Halloween party over at her school for today. That was when I remembered it was Halloween time! She works in the office at an American/British school in the area. She and her husband have been here for 40 years! Saudi Arabia is really their home even though they grew up in the West. So many different stories unfold out here.

This morning I chatted with a woman form India. Her husband is from Kerala India and she is from Bangalore and they have been here in Saudi 30 years. She worked for five years as a secretary at ARAMCO, and then her family in India arranged the marriage with her husband, who is from Kerala India. He works for ARAMCO. She and her husband live in an apartment in Dammam, not on the ARAMCO compound. He has some kind of administrative job on the ARAMCO compound and a bus carts him back and forth daily form Dammam to Dhahran and ARAMCO. Lots of people work for ARAMCO, but do not live on the compound as their work is contracted out. This couple's adult sons, who went to boarding schools in the States, now live and work in Canada. So she and her husband are now in the middle of a cultural conflict of Western kids who want nothing to do with India and a Dad that wants to return to India forever in two years and a Mom who DOESN'T at all. I have seen movies on this subject. It was actually overwhelming listening to her and all that she has to deal with. Their own marriage was arranged and Dad now wants his sons to hook up with nice girls that he and his wife will find for them in Kerala. Sons think Dad is so out of it and no way will this ever happen. They do not even like to visit Kerala anymore and Indian food gives them stomach aches. Mom is on the side of the kids, and did admit that her husband vents all his frustrations to her, but not to his sons. She in turn tries to calm him down. He can't wait to return to Kerela, however, she wants to live in Canada close to her sons. Dad hates Canada as it is just too cold, and on it goes. She spends three months out of the year in Kerela and during that time she tries to meet and chat with the women in the area, but these women can only sit still for just a few minutes at a time. They keep checking their watches and then they have to take off to tend to a goat or a cow. Having been to Kerela, I know exactly what the environment is in the villages where she visits. She gets very lonely there. She and her husband have two years to work things out. Spooky!

I have another friend here that came to Saudi with her husband when they were both in their 70's. They have only been here about six years. Now they are looking at being 80 years old in a couple of years. I had a hard time guessing her age, but she told me today. I thought she was MY age, and I certainly am not even close to 80 years old. Yeah, I do feel it at times. So, on the positive side, working overseas, even in Saudi, can keep you active and certainly very young at heart, if my friend is any indication. However, I think at a point in time, being here can also start to strip your youth and health away and have a negative effect. I know it is time for us to be leaving for good. Just a few more months. I am all filled up with Saudi Arabia.

My electric mixer went out on me today. Certainly not going to replace it. Not worth it and I just won't bake anymore. My iron went out on me about a month ago and I have taken a few things to the dry cleaners to be ironed. However, they came back sub-standard, so I hauled out my travel iron and touched them up. I am enjoying seeing the other end of our circle of life here as I pare down to the bare essentials we arrived with. Scary!

Hope you have a charming and not-too-spooky Halloween!